The Fall season is just weeks away and is the harvest time of year. Fall Represents growth, expansion and the natural evolution of our being. Our lives go through cycles of growth, death and rebirth just as we see in all of nature. This workshop will focus on letting go of those things, people, situations and circumstances that no longer serve us. After the letting go and dying away there needs to come balance and growth which will be the second half of the workshop. My intention is to help people start the next chapter of their lives with the applicable and tangible tools for forgiveness and growth. My own life and experiences have set me on a course over the last few years of major changes, expansion, and growth and this was done in a very painful way at times. I believe that all of our experiences can be used to either help us grow and expand or to keep us stagnate and bitter. I would like to help you come to the path of growth and expansion with more immediate relief and release of that which no longer serves you. The workshop will be three hours, include snacks and drinks and have all things needed for an amazing experience. We will do restorative style yoga, which means no movement, we will use props to place you in a comfortable position to relax the body. There will be guided meditations and multiple exercises to learn the tools spoken about above. I am excited to see everyone who attends in person again! Please tell friends, family and anyone else you think can benefit from this workshop. I only have space for 20 people, register quickly! September 3rd, 2022 5:30 pm – 8:30 pm Pose by Pose Yoga Studio 17761 Hunting Bow Circle, Lutz, FL 33558 Cost $80 Less then the cost of one therapy session, this workshop is equivalent to lessons learned in three sessions! Please email or call for registration sheri.serenitywellness@gmail.com 813-504-4913
Is It Too Late To Fix It??
I haven’t blogged in a very long time but I felt there is so much to say on the topic of “fixing a marriage/relationship once the love is gone.” I have been finding myself leaving the office more emotionally exhausted and expended lately than usual and after meditating on what the reason is I realize a few key patterns in people attending therapy. Most couples come into therapy after they have already mentally and emotionally exited from their relationship. Often there is one person in the relationship who wants to fix it and one who is already planning their exit or exited through involvement in another relationship. I understand people who are wanting to leave a relationship want to come with their partner for reasons such as: “one more try,” “maybe there’s hope,” “I want my spouse to feel better,” and the one I hear the most, “if it doesn’t work they will have support in place to help them heal.” I always go through the motions of explaining how relationships work at their best through boundaries, time, commitment, bond and intimacy and sometimes people are thankful for the normalcy that has been brought to their attention and make a choice to start the work of rebuilding (or maybe building for the first time). Then there are those who are also thankful for the knowledge but feel it’s “too late” and make a choice to not proceed to rebuild. Understandably, many people who are exited emotionally, are that way after many years of trying to engage with their partner and unfortunately, their partner didn’t respond until they were confronted with the possibility of separation. Relationships are difficult even in the best of scenarios, I find that any relationship can be fixed if two people are willing and able. The common theme in these scenarios is “choice.” Love is a choice, commitment is a choice, monogamy is a choice, being soul-bonded is a choice. These words are used as feeling words and nothing can be further from the truth of what these words truly are – they are action words. All of these words take work and mindful choices daily, moment-by-moment. After the choice to be in a relationship with daily actions of love, commitment, and monogamy, feelings do-follow. That’s the great news, a feeling of safety, security, passion, and desire, just to name a few, do fill you. I am asked daily “should it be this hard?” My answer is Yes! Yes! Yes! But it won’t always feel hard. It will feel like joy when done and received and the dynamic becomes a norm. The rewards will always out weight the “work.” Now I want to clarify that this blog is NOT being written toward someone who has emotionally exited from their relationship due to any form of abuse or repeated infidelity. There are absolutely times when a person’s safety and well being cannot be negotiated with someone who is doing them harm. This blog is my observation of years of couples therapy and seeing a culture that is ever rapidly changing and not in favor of keeping balance in people’s lives. When the balance of relational boundaries is overpowered by outside influences the relationship is left vulnerable. The recipe for most affairs is vulnerability and opportunity and there is no shortage of opportunity by vulnerable people. Anyone who has participated in couple’s therapy with me knows that I give the analogy of the wounded leg: “I would much rather you bring me a small wound that we can stitch up than a wound that has eaten away at the limb to the point where perhaps amputation is the most obvious answer at first glance.” The best time to seek help with your relationship is early, often and throughout the lifespan of your relationship. Prevention is always the best medicine. If your relationship feels ok, fine, mundane or worse – disconnected, like roommates or indifferent, you are already in a dangerous place. Please, do not ignore the signs of a relationship at risk for vulnerability by being left to its own device of feelings. The biology of love is real. There are chemicals, Oxytocin and Dopamine, that are made in the body upon meeting someone that is necessary for bonding just long enough to procreate, roughly 5 years. After that, you’re on your own to continue to build those chemicals that bring feelings, through new experiences and special time with your partner. The daily choice to be kind, reliable, accountable, and committed and monogamous builds the everlasting true love and bond we search for in a relationship. I challenge everyone to Choose mindfulness and bring the action into your personal daily practice of honoring and protecting your relationship. Sheri Lawrence, LMFT
Becoming Your Highest and Best Self
What does it mean for one to become their highest and best self? It’s a statement that needs evaluating moment by moment. It’s not about achieving the ultimate goals of your life before you feel like your highest and best self. This is the message the world we live in has given us for far too long! The reality is you only have this moment, this exact moment you are experiencing, am I being my highest and best right now? That’s my only reality. From this present space, I can ask more questions if I feel the answer may be no I can ask myself what can I do right now that is realistic and feels right for me? One can only achieve a goal or a state of being from the space therein now. Not being in the space of now is where frustration sets in for many people and the highest and best self feels impossible to attain. People picture their end results when planning for their life goals, this can bring feelings of being overwhelmed, hopeless and even paralyzed by the thought of getting the results they long for in life. By staying in a present factual space and looking at only what you can do next, the next right step, can you feel empowered and positioned for success. Let’s acknowledge that this is a very hard task that is being proposed in this article. Staying present takes the assumption that you have control over the majority of your thoughts. Most people experience such anxiety from excessive future-focused thinking that this task of staying present feels like a major stumbling block. The journey of staying present is a process and one must mindfully, moment by moment, train the brain to stay present. I spend my current place in a life dedicated to helping others find their way to the present moment and learning to stay there more then they wander off to the future and past which creates anxiety and depression. The act of mindfulness and staying present, which brings peace, is one of the best gifts you can give yourself on the journey of becoming your highest and best self. With Love and Light, Sheri Lawrence, MA, LMFT, RYT 200 & Owner of Serenity Wellness Services, LLC
Just Be
Sat Nam- is the Sanskrit word that means “true identity.” It is used in Yoga as the seed mantra or saying that it is believed to hold all the knowledge of the fully grown tree. If you have worked with me you have heard me say Just Be. This is a powerful saying because ultimately that’s all you are, is to BE. Everything else we think we have to do or the roles we play in life are a mere illusion of expectations we put upon ourselves and are put upon us by others as we allow. When everything falls away there is only the conscious awareness of your being- being alive, breathing, observing. The most beautiful way I have ever heard the Psalm “Be still and know that I am God” prayed, is as follows. Be still and know that I am God Be still and know that I am Be still and know Be still Be Today attempt to Just Be my friends. Namaste, Sheri